


Five Times the Avengers Broke the Internet and One Time Steve and Tony Broke the World

by PeterStark



Series: The Avengers Break Everything [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1 Things, Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, Fluff, Funny, M/M, Neither do Tony or Steve, Nude Photos, Peter Parker's Vlog, Secret Relationship, Singing, Thor has no shame, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony grounds Peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-22
Updated: 2019-01-22
Packaged: 2019-10-14 08:44:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17505341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeterStark/pseuds/PeterStark
Summary: As per usual, Spiderman gets over excited, breaks the internet, and now everyone wants a turn.





	Five Times the Avengers Broke the Internet and One Time Steve and Tony Broke the World

**Author's Note:**

> If I could do art, you'd have art to go with this, because I kinda want visuals too. Instead all I have are words to give. I hope you like them. Also, if you haven't heard Heaven (Don't have a name) look it up.  
> I own nothing.

1-Spiderman is Worthy  
Peter Parker started it, but then again he usually was the one who started it. He'd started and manned his own, oficial Spiderman social media accounts. It was really the first official social media account linked to a super hero, hell, he even had his own youtube. He might have recorded a team meeting. He always in his suit around the Avengers, the only two who knew who he was was Tony and Steve, but only because he'd pulled his mask off during a fight when blood had pooled around his lips. Steve had never told anyone, but he had ended up helping Peter breathe again.

Peter always wore his mask during gatherings, to keep May safe. So, while they were all hanging out together after a long fight, Peter began to record the shenanagins that often went on whenever they all got together on his phone. 

"I've never offered our friend Spiderman the chance to prove his worth." Thor put his hammer down on the table. "Lift this hammer and you can be worthy of the throne of Asgard."

"Wait, you've all tried it?" Peter asked.

"Yeah." Rhodey frowned. "It didn't work."

"See, Underoos, I'll show you." Tony walked forward and pulled up on the hammar, but it remained in place. "Dumb magic."

Steve got up. "I think I might be able to... I mean I got this feeling last time, like it might work." Steve stood up and grabbed the hammer, it wobbled, but didn't lift. Steve shook his head at sat down, putting his arms over the back of the couch, one almost around Tony, one almost around Nat. "Hmm...guess not."

Thor grinned and the hammer leapt to his hand. "You're just not worthy." Thor flipped his hammer and put it back down. "Go ahead, Man of Spiders."

Peter turned the camera on himself, just so it could capture the way his suit's eyes widened to mimic his. "Really? AWESOME!" He turned the phone forward as he reached for the hammer. He grabbed it and... "Huh, this thing's lighter than it looks." Peter pulled it up and twirled it. "Were you guys lying about this thing? It's like a paperweight or something. It's a prop, isn't it?" Peter asked. "It's like, super light. If this were the real thing it'd be like, so easy to smash people with it."

"HOLY FUCK, KID!" Tony shouted.

"Language," Nat said.

Thor's face was full of horror an awe in the video, then it grew exited. "The Man of Spider's is worthy!"

"Holy shit, this is the real thing?!" Peter shouted, then turned the camera. He showed himself holding the hammer. "I'm worthy!"

He'd cut the video down to show Tony and Steve attempt it, then his success and his victory scream. The internet broke.

2-Black Widow Kicks Ass

After the Avengers had found out that Spiderman had almost literally made the internet fall apart, they'd all decided to see who could break the internet best. Nat took it upon herself to hijack the video cameras in the gym. She managed to get a video of her taking down Captain America and Hawkeye all in one fluid fight. Sure, her victories weren't assured against them, but the video had gone viral and nearly broken the internet. It was no where as well received as the now donned #GodofSpiders incident. A trend had started though: #bowtothespiders and #followthespidergods. Nat was content with it. She hadn't beaten the Spiderling, but it had been fun.

3-Hawkeye Serenade

Team building exercises seemed to go over well with the internet, so Hawkeye waited. When Tony suggested Karaoke, Clint set Nat to a very important task: live-stream everything. Tony, of course, belted out a classic rock song, surprisingly well. Thor hadn't really known what to do, but he'd tried valiantly. It was funny and Clint knew it would be a hit, but he twirled his finger, telling Nat to keep filming.

Steve decided not to get onto the stage, saying he was tired of being a dancing monkey, but Tony convinced him by pushing him up onto the stage. Steve picked a Disney song. The live-stream nearly died with fluffy 'feels' as they gushed. Apparently, Steve really did have a 'heart of gold.' Everyone seemed to have their panties in a twist over him.

"Bruce, you in?" Clint asked.

"Nope, all you. I can't follow that." Bruce shook his head.

Clint shrugged and got up, heading for the stage. He winked at the phone in Nat's hand, knowing he'd have to perform like there was a whole crowd in that camera, because there was. "She's got the voodoo that'll make you believe..." Clint sang his heart out. He'd send a copy to his wife later, but for now, he had a bet to win and the internet to break. "Heaven don't have a name." When he finished his song he winked and blew a kiss to the audience. He saw Nat lower the phone and give him the thumbs up. He lifted the mic and grinned. "Guys, I think I just broke the internet. You're welcome." #hawkeyeserenade

4-Peter Parker and Mr. Stark, Father and Son

Somehow, Tony's favorite intern got wind of the fact that the Avenger's were fighting to see who could break the internet. When he visited and asked if he could participate, Steve and Tony had considered it, before shrugging. "Well, Spiderman started it and he's not really a full Avenger, so we can let friends participate." 

Peter jumped up happily and clapped his hands together. "I'm going to shatter the internet." He ran off and posted a vlog instantly. 

"Hey, so I've told you guys about my internship at Stark before. Well, Mr. Stark told me that some of the crazy stuff going on the internet recently is part of some bet the Avengers and Spiderman have going. They're all trying to break the internet, so I asked if I could give it my shot. Guys, Mr. Stark and the Captain America said I could try. I think they doubt me, but keep an eye out, I'm going to make this happen. Love you guys."

Peter's next post to the internet did, in fact, break the internet. It was a simple enough video, but Peter'd set off the alarms and called the Avengers to assemble. The resulting video he got of the imposing team up would not have been possible if he hadn't pre-set up cameras as his alter ego to capture the group of heroes swooping in. The part that broke the internet, however, was the end.

"Oh, shit, you guys have your game faces on." Peter realized, walking up to them. "Sorry. I just needed to get a good video for the new fans I'm about to get for breaking the internet, you're welcome." Peter winked at the camera.

"This was a prank call?" Tony demanded.

"Uh...um...yes, Mr. Stark." Peter took a step back.

"Jesus, Tony, your intern is good. Do you like, hire supervillains now or something? I was trying to get some sleep and he had me convinced we had to kick bad-guy ass." Clint huffed and lowered his bow. "Nice one, though. I'll admit. Team-ups always work, they're very cinematic and I appreciate the sunrise aesthetic you chose."

"Okay, it's fucking early" Tony started.

"It's eight, Iron Man." Steve shook his head, putting his shield on his back. "It's hardly early."

"Says the man who starts running at four in the damn morning. It's too fucking early for this and I haven't even had coffee."

"Oh, the world would definitely end if someone attacked it before you got your coffee." Nat laughed, lowering her arms. "Great job, kid, you managed to give the baddies the world's best strategy: attack before coffee. It's official, you'll be the best at breaking the internet."

"What?" Tony shouted. "No, we're not proud of this. You're grounded, Parker, or whatever it is that happens when kids cause trouble. Like, no lab work for two weeks or something. Ooh! I have a perfect idea, you can now just be in charge of getting coffee, like a lowly intern. That'll teach you."

"But Mr. Stark I had a great idea for the"

"Nope. Just coffee, until I'm not angry anymore."

Peter groaned.

"It's okay, intern Peter, we see the effort in this. It's all quite clever. Perhaps I should try to break the internet next." Thor beamed.

Out of that video several tags began to trend. #starksdadvoice #daddystark #groundedintern The internet shattered.

5-Thor

Steve's face turned bright red when the news played and he went to find the other-worldly Avenger. "What the hell is that on the news?"

"Oh, I believe I broke the internet." Thor smiled proudly. "It was such an easy task. I just looked up what best breaks the internet. Apparently, sex appeal has quite an effect on Midgard. It is strange that you are all so...repressed. Clint told me that full nudity would not be well received, but I believe the photo broke the internet well enough."

The internet broke with a single, naked picture of Thor, his hammer being the only thing that kept from his fully nude body from being indecently exposed. The trends #movethehammer and #Iwannabeworthy made Steve break a little bit. It was getting a little out of hand.

+1-Coming Out

"They're all ridiculous." Steve rolled his eyes and pulled his shirt over his head.

"They're your team, I don't claim any of their shenanigans. Why are you over there instead of letting me strip you?"

Steve huffed and walked over to the bed, letting Tony pull off his sweats as he worked open Tony's shirt, one button at a time. "I almost expected you to get in on it."

"I don't think I can beat Thor holding a hammer over his privates while his body was posed like that. I mean...have you seen him?"

Steve laughed and nuzzled into Tony's neck, kissing just below his ear. "You're better looking." Steve promised, pushing the shirt off of Tony's shoulders as he stepped out of his pants. "You're a genius, I'm sure you could beat all of them at this game if you wanted to."

"Mm." Tony hummed in agreement before he pulled Steve forward. Tony couldn't have pulled Steve down, but the super soldier followed anyway, straddling Tony and pressing him into the bed. "Oh, wait, I have a great idea!"

"And what is that?" Steve wondered.

"Well, the team doesn't know we're together...and the world doesn't know...." Tony pulled Steve back a little bit, to look into his eyes. "You okay with telling people?"

"I told you months ago that I was ready for that. I especially want our friends to know. And since you're doing your best to adopt the spider-kid"

"I am not"

"You are definitely #daddystark, alright? We both know it, and I find it absolutely adorable." Steve laughed and kiss Tony on the nose. "I'm good with this."

"Pepper is going to be so angry." Tony reached for his phone and opened his rarely used twitter.

Tony Stark  
@TonyStarkamI  
Me and @Starspangled are in a long term relationship. #superpowercouple #dealwithit

"Okay, now that that's done, can I get on with getting these clothes off of you?"

Tony tossed his phone. "All yours, my love."

Breakfast the next morning was hostile for Tony. It started with Nat. "Really, Stark?"

"What did I do to get back to last names?"

"Look, Steve isn't as alright with these sorts of things. I get you were joking around to try and break the internet, but you really should get his consent to play pranks like this. It's a bit much, really."

"What are you talking about? I'm all about exuberant consent. It's a bit of a turn on." Tony winked.

"What's a turn on?" Steve asked as he walked into the kitchen. "Wow, everyone's up early."

"Please tell me you haven't been online." Bruce muttered sleepily.

"Why, is it broken again?" Steve grabbed Tony's favorite mug and put it within reach of the genius, before grabbing himself a mug.

Tony scrolled through his phone. "Yes, apparently I'm great at 'trolling' the world." Tony sighed.

Steve looked at Tony's phone and frowned. "Oh...well that won't do."

"Did you know about this?" Clint asked.

Steve ignored his team and grabbed Tony by the arm. "I think we need to talk real quick, alone, very much alone."

The Avengers watched the two go and winced. Poor Steve must not have seen the prank coming. They didn't really want to stick around to hear the blowout fight that would likely result, so they all took their breakfast and went their own ways, without a word.

Two hours later, Spiderman swung in through a window that JARVIS barely managed to open in time. He landed in the living room and looked around wildly. "Holy shit, guys. Did you see this?"

All of the Avengers, sans Tony and Steve, were in the room and looked up. "The news Tony made up to break the internet? Yeah."

"Um...I don't think anyone can photoshop this shit. I barely got screen shots before the site went down." Spiderman held out his phone. There was a post from Tony's twitter. There was nothing innocent about the photo. Tony was flat on his back in a bed, Steve hovering over him and holding down his hands, a blue light lit both of their bare, sweaty chests. They were both occupied, so JARVIS must've used a security camera to get the shot. They looked both blissed out and happy. The caption was simple: Best wake-up call ever, better than coffee. #nojoke #superpowercouple

Spiderman scrolled over one picture and there was another post. This one was on Steve's page. Tony was pressed to Steve's back, and his lips were pressed to Steve's neck. Steve's eyes were closed and he looked to be nearing heaven. Their fingers were twined together. The caption was short and sweet: Love of my life, best man I've ever known. #nojoke #superpowercouple

"Holy shit." Clint shouted. "Mom and Dad are sleeping together! Oh no!"

"They posted photos of them having sex...online. What the fuck." Bruce muttered.

"What? It isn't like I don't have sex tapes floating around out their anyway. Besides. It's better the curiosity is sated this way so they can leave us the fuck alone." Tony said. Steve sat down and Tony snuggled up to his side.

"I agreed." Steve nodded and wrapped his arm around Tony. "And we had a great morning so..."

"Uh..." Clint shook his head. "Mom and Dad are all cuddly, it's gross."

"Well, I guess that means I have to deal with double the Dad-voice." Spiderman groaned, then straightened when everyone turned on him, except for Clint. "Fuck."

"Language." Steve commented.

"Wait a minute." Clint paused. "Holy shit! SPIDER KID IS PETER PARKER!"

"I think I just broke Clint," Peter sighed and pulled off his mask. "So, since I broke the internet twice and broke Clint, do I win?"

"Nah, I think pure shock value goes to those two, sorry little spider." Nat frowned. "By the way, congrats you two. Are we to be expecting wedding invitations soon?"

Tony got up and walked out of the room.

Steve laughed. "Nat wins. I think you just broke Tony."

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine that shortly afterward, Tony shows up with a ring he's had hidden in his workshop for months, and he ends up breaking Steve. Haha.  
> I hope all of you are wll.


End file.
